Why is it so hard to love myself right now? I don’t want to feel this shame anymore. I am so tired of the shame showers. I am so wonderful inside, I know this. Why is it so hard to believe it? To maintain this belief without being drenched in shame? I am tired of it, I need to develop my resilience. I need to get up and do something with my body, to turn this exhaustion into someting that will keep me flowing and moving forward. Life is motion, the wise people of Abba once said, move on. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do.
I’m going to get myself up and start moving on. Moving forward. Moving sideways, upwards, upside-down. It doesn’t really matter where to, I just need to keep moving and keep creating. In any one simple act of creation you will find the very essence of life, the essence of flowing. Because when you create motion, you create ripples, little waves of meaningful movement that spread far and wide to touch the corners of the Universe. And then these ripples grow and grow, like tidal waves, and just like the tide returning to the sea, they’ll bring you back what you where looking for. The feeling, the flowing, the energy that you needed. You don’t have to wait for it to start moving on; you get going and the energy follows. So start now, get into motion. Get into the middle of creation. Treat yourself with kindness and give shame some gratitude, for at the end of the day it is only doing it’s job.
Thank you, shame, for reminding me of all the things I could be doing better; thank you for helping me remember that I am worthy, brave and kind, and that all these things make me loving and lovable; and thank you for letting me see that I may have every reason to be afraid right now but I haven’t got one good reason to stop moving forward. So I won’t stop. I’ll keep moving on.
Keep posting!